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Vision boards: a slippery slope

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Don't worry - this isn't my vision board.

Vision boards have been used as a tool to focus one’s goals for decades, but ever since self-help sages like Oprah have been peddling that nebulous “law of attraction” (probably the most bankable esoteric phenomenon for centuries), the art of pasting pictures of things you aspire to own and achieve to a bit of board has really catapulted into the zone of Things Winners Do. In fact, it’s just one component in that curious crossover between New Agery and creepy corporate personal development, along with neurolinguistic programming, self-help books and slogan-slinging gurus.

Making a vision board is “ground-breaking cognitive neuroscience”, according to one dedicated website – oh, guffaw – and there’s even a Vision Board Institute, at which you can study to be a Certified Vision Board Coach, thus helping other people to upgrade their life visioning processes.

So here’s my vision board.

Ute upgrade. NB: ute must work.

A chap on hand to prune my trees. That's all.

One of these.

Carpet and curtains in my house. (That’s not me in the picture, incidentally. That’s 200 per cent more winsome LA music journo Kim Morgan. I thought it couldn’t hurt to include her on this vision board too.)

Optus reception outside of CBDs.

The ability to talk to people without stabbing my lemon violently with my straw.

I’ll let you know how I fare.

WARNING: From making vision boards it is only a short, slippery slide into leaving Post-It notes on your mirrors saying “I am a lovable person”.

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