So there I was, Googling ‘Menstronomy’, wondering if anyone had invented hogwash like ‘the science of forsoothing and vibrating the menses’ yet (if not, I was about to), when I stumbled across STALLION.
Part new age guru, part motivational speaker, part illusionist (“in front of a packed auditorium and James Randi himself I bent a spoon with my mind and will be spending the $1,000,000 they now owe me so that I can touch you with my Magic as never before. Stay tuned!”), he’s 100 per cent snake oil spoof.
STALLION is like the David Copperfield of the personal development circuit. He’s “constantly pursuing new psycho-spiritual disciplines and neuro technologies for personal development and self discovery. This results in intriguing metaphorical applications in his performances”.
At his website you can enjoy his esoteric poetry, take some tips in seducing the opposite sex (he’s a pickup artist in the vein of LA twat Mystery, who inspired Neil Strauss’s The Game), and then following through with his bedroom moves – he conceived the Tantra-trouncing ‘Majudo’, with which you can “learn how to treat your lady like a Golden Squaw with STALLION’S five-point simultaneous 20-digit massage”.
If you baulk at panpipes and synth piano, best not peruse his YouTube portfolio.
New Age Guinea Pig 